I started off my new career as a cashier since my old one as a music journalist was obviously not working out. After all, when reviewing particularly horrid albums by well-loved Canadian artists, one must remember that these artists, no matter how talentless they may be, still have fans. And these fans are often crazy.
I reviewed an unusually crappy album in a somewhat recent issue of Chart. And in fact, I went easy on it. And I received, via the magazine, and entertaining amount of hatemail in the next issue. What's funny is that I thought that would be that. But no - I received another one in the most recent issue. This one didn't address my review at all, but rather just said I should give up on journalism and become a cashier. Chart responded by saying that funny enough, I totally am a cashier. And it's true! I had started to work the cash at various retail stores prior to that particular letter coming in. I now work at no fewer than six different retail stores and no more than eight at any given time.
The pay is somewhat shit, but compared to the magazine world, is oddly a lot of money. I keep starting new jobs because it's fun to work for managers who are half my age and who know absolutely nothing about the way the real world works. Here's a short list of the stores that I am currently working in.
No Frills
HMV
Comicapalooza (it's a comic store)
Stan's Drug Emporium
Fabricland
Best Buy
These are all very entertaining and fulfilling jobs and I would like to thank the readers of Chart, particularly Matt Good's fans who have no musical taste, for agreeing with me that being a cashier is the best thing for me. I've met so many awesome people in this line of work and I hate them all. I hope to be able to update this blog frequently with my many stories of customer appreciation and I also hope that my fans from the magazine world will enjoy reading about my antics here.
Thanks for reading. I need to get ready to go to work now. Today I'm working at Fabricland. It's my fifth shift there. Say that fast. Fifth Shift. Fifth Shift. Fifthshift.
Sounds funny.
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3 comments:
yeah - his name is GOOD so how could you give it a BAD review.
the clue to the tone that the review should have had is in his name, right there, IN HIS NAME.
That's not a very GOOD pun.
I always knew Hatton would make a wonderful cashier. It's wonderful to see someone fulfill their potential, especially in a life-sucking, dream-crushing backwater like Brampton, Ontario.
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