Wow, I don't write here a lot

You know why? Because it takes a lot out of me to talk about my shitty day at my shitty retail jobs serving shitty customers who come to me with envelopes of shitty coupons so they can save a shitty 15 cents on tampons.

They're for your wife, yeah, sure. Fuckin' liars.

Fired!

Holy fucking hell. I got fired from all my cashier jobs. It was hectic. I worked 22 hour days almost every day since January. Sorry for not updating much. So many stories to tell! I will have to write up some of my past work experiences here now that I'm somewhat willfully unemployed.

Viva la conspicuous consumption!

Fabric Buyers are Nuts!

Fifth shift at Fabricland is finally over. Man, the time goes by so slow at that place. Wow. No music over the PA. Bright fluorescent lights. Headaches. That was my day. It was still better than listening to Hospital Music, though. Oh man, was it.

This woman came in with her six children (no joke) and looked through the catalogues of patterns like crazy. She then bought a tonne of brown fabric and a bunch of Jedi robe patterns. I asked if the fabric was for getting an early start on Halloween and she said no, that her kids just wanted to be Jedi. Except she used the word "Jedis," which is wrong. It's like saying "Legos," folks. Just don't do it.

Anyhow. Other than the fact that the day dragged by it wasn't that bad I guess. I spent a bunch of time playing my Game Boy and now I'm almost on level eight of Super Mario Land. Okay I have to go get ready for my shift at HMV. I hope they don't play Interpol over the speakers again because I think I might smack somebody. On the ass.

Hound dog! AROOO!

My First Post as a Cashier!

I started off my new career as a cashier since my old one as a music journalist was obviously not working out. After all, when reviewing particularly horrid albums by well-loved Canadian artists, one must remember that these artists, no matter how talentless they may be, still have fans. And these fans are often crazy.

I reviewed an unusually crappy album in a somewhat recent issue of Chart. And in fact, I went easy on it. And I received, via the magazine, and entertaining amount of hatemail in the next issue. What's funny is that I thought that would be that. But no - I received another one in the most recent issue. This one didn't address my review at all, but rather just said I should give up on journalism and become a cashier. Chart responded by saying that funny enough, I totally am a cashier. And it's true! I had started to work the cash at various retail stores prior to that particular letter coming in. I now work at no fewer than six different retail stores and no more than eight at any given time.

The pay is somewhat shit, but compared to the magazine world, is oddly a lot of money. I keep starting new jobs because it's fun to work for managers who are half my age and who know absolutely nothing about the way the real world works. Here's a short list of the stores that I am currently working in.

No Frills
HMV
Comicapalooza (it's a comic store)
Stan's Drug Emporium
Fabricland
Best Buy

These are all very entertaining and fulfilling jobs and I would like to thank the readers of Chart, particularly Matt Good's fans who have no musical taste, for agreeing with me that being a cashier is the best thing for me. I've met so many awesome people in this line of work and I hate them all. I hope to be able to update this blog frequently with my many stories of customer appreciation and I also hope that my fans from the magazine world will enjoy reading about my antics here.

Thanks for reading. I need to get ready to go to work now. Today I'm working at Fabricland. It's my fifth shift there. Say that fast. Fifth Shift. Fifth Shift. Fifthshift.

Sounds funny.